I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
he accidentally used the toothbrush i use to induce my bulemia...i feel like this is something he shouldnt find out...
Call me when you get up. This hang-over is like dismantling a bomb: I need someone to talk me through it.
Yeah.. he went to Tebow in the middle of the crosswalk and got hit by a cab... The yellow ones really don't stop
For future reference "I'm too drunk to come today" is an acceptable line to get out of work. I love my job
Her vagina smelled like pancake batter. That's all you need to know.
I want to get my vag crammed with complete loss of every bit of dignity I have left by this man from every angle on every flat surface that exists. That is all.
Still drunk on my morning "run" which has turned into a walk. Just burped fireball
she doesn't even know what year it is. She just stumbles around life with a bottle of rum
It's like fucking tetris in this bed
I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his
You know you've found a good drug dealer when he's willing to overnight mail to you in another state...
I didn't know how to commemorate his death, so I snorted a fat line off of his obituary. Rest in peace.
Why do I have this feeling like this is heading in a slightly threesome-y direction
Our livers get a hall pass for 2020, right?
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