Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
The stoners next door have their couch on the sidewalk again, shirtless, soaking their feet in a baby pool and listening to loud ukulele music. I want their life.
just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
Chinatown. Her fortune cookie said "accept the next proposition you receive." TELL ME NO NOW.
quit making up holidays to get me to go drinking with you
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
It was a legit night tell he threw a snowball in the bar, thats when I knew it was time to go to the next bar.
We were in the hot tub...he ate the pizza pocket directly out of my mouth
I am still STD free so as far as I am concerned I never went to panama.
I really have a thing for Greek chicks; I feel like while we are having sex she has the ability to make hummus which is just too appealing for me to pass up.
Netflix keeps asking me if I'm still watching just because I've been sitting here all afternoon...why do I feel like my tv is judging my life choices?
Be my booze princess bebe. I'll rescue you from the lame tidings you are confined to up in the sober castle.
Hey, I'm 22. I'm allowed to have a sex life and you're going to hear about it.
My dad called me in the middle of the night, drunk on vodka, asking for references on the Irish alphabet.
Just got caught by my boss looking at porn on the work computer & he decided to utilize this time to look with me. Not sure if this is good or bad.
Randomize
