I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
I just did the classiest thing ever.
last time you said that you got chlamydia.
Seriously, let me lead the intervention, my parents did like three with me. I know how it works.
Oh, I'm sorry. I'd rather be "doable" than "the fat chick"
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
This is going to be a 3 day beach sex fest. Do you understand
She was giving me that "well this is awkward since you drunkedly tried to hook up with me" look.
I gasped. Both pairs of lips did.
wrestling a boy for fruit? sounds suspiciously like foreplay...
Just made a diving catch to save a handle of Fireball falling out of the car. ESPN worthy.
Can I come by? I want you to meet my squirrel
He said his fantasy involved both of us fucking while stuffed into the same overalls
Apparently I made a chicken patty, angrily took it out of the microwave, walked outside, and threw it over the balcony. #me
I fucked the midget version of a backstreet boy and I am not mad about it
My hook-up from last week somehow found me at the club, saw the girl I was trying to fuck, kissed me right in front of her, and walked off.
Randomize
