its official now. im not pissing on secret service cars with a senators inside anymore.
capt morgan doesn't hurt if you honestly believe it's golden flavored kool-aid.
screw that ipod for my birthday.. i just want a weed brownie the size of my face. that's all.
Let's just say a refrigerator got involved and after that I had to send him home.
I just threw up in the bathroom next to the zebra exhibit. The kids don't know I skipped a beat. Best nanny, ever.
I'm missing some hair, but it's cool. Breadsticks are done.
What do I wear to meet his family/put his dog to sleep? Is there even an appropriate outfit for this occasion?
I don't fucking care about the convenience of not having freudian slips. I spent 2009-2011 screwing around with 3 different Daniels. 2012 WILL be the dawn of a new day
How about a mike?
Already had two of those
mind if i send you a dick pic? so you can see what she wasn't doing right?
Dude, it could be so much worse. That Dale kid lost a toe I think.
I just found out via Facebook that my old dorm room is now the free condom distribution room on campus...IT'S LIKE THE UNIVERSE KNOWS!
I just laughed at the word pudding. I have no idea whats going on right now.
Sounds good. Look at us. Planning sex like proper adults.
I got custody of our girlfriend in the breakup.
I was a little curious what "unspeakable" things he could possibly do to my feet
Randomize
