He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
Katie is reenacting me jizzing in her eye via emoticons...
Who has a video camera? i want to look back on this one day and say OH thats why i spent 2 years in jail
When she gives birth, I'm so playing 'Eye of the Tiger'
What would you say if I got first degree burns on my nipples from drinking coffee topless?
HE KEEPS WALKING AWAY. IT'S LIKE HE DOESN'T EVEN LIKE FRIES. WTF.
If you could smell my eyes you'd understand the whole story
That's the fall semester you first snorted drugs off my ass I think
Ok let me just clear up this blowjob thing first so we can talk about your grandpa
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
you're the third guy in less than 24 hours she fucked. I'm glad you lost your virginity just don't act like you climbed Mt. Everest.
I woke up with a bagel in my mouth, still ate it. Free breakfast
I say I'm working from home on conference call days, but really I just mute the phone, put that shit on speaker so I can hear what's going on, and let Marcus fuck my brains out.
She was trying to be sexy well putting on my condom with her mouth when her cat pounced from the corner of the room witch caused her to gasp and inhale the condom
He is farting the alphabet right now. In the goddamned restaurant. You don't get to recommend men anymore. Or restaurants for that matter.
Randomize