D3 body, D1 cock
She ordered a salad and a budweiser. I love her.
You suck. You're fired. I need to find a less reasonable voice-of-reason.
You kept showing everyone at the bar your bra to prove it matched your shoes.
I threw up in the bar parking lot and yelled THIS IS MY FUTURE.
It was my little brother's 14th birthday today. Didn't know what to get him so I just showed him how to use incognito tabs on google chrome.
There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer.
You in for a dick vacation?
YES, even though I have no idea what that means
How many band members does it take to become The Band Slut? I think I might be dangerously close
Booty calls should never involve the cops.
Just smoked a joint with the hottest patient. God I love night shifts.
That was the night you tried to convince me you threw up your sould because your throwup was black
I just remembered you petting my nose last night to help the cocaine 'sink in'. I don't think that's how it works
DO NOT TOUCH THE SOAP ITS HAD SOME UNORTHODOX USES WITHIN THE PAST 15 HOURS
I’ve got a sex swing and lube, he’s not going anywhere soon
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