What are you drinking?
Shitty Coors light. OM NOM NOM TASTES LIKE HIGH SCHOOL
so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
She started howling at the moon. That was pretty much the deal breaker.
Its a little weird going to a wedding where I've screwed the bride and my wife has screwed the groom. Great wedding though.
It took me 3 tries to get up the front steps. They kept me motivated by waving taco bell just out of my reach. Surprisingly effective.
Tried to drunkenly hop a fence with my cast on to get away from the cops but ended up falling over a bench.. how do I explain those bruises to my parents?
When I said tequila slammers would be the death of me, I didn't intend it to be today. Oh god.
My sister just showed me a snap chat that I don't remember sending, it was a picture of me with two big macs in my bra with just the words "BURGER TITS"
"I'm a professor to university students" I say as I realize I have a nipple piercing that I have no memory of getting
I was legit late to work one day Bc it took me so long to get a good nude
I am mildly hung over. Decided pants are very unnecessary right now.
Nothing quite like spending your evening singing Shania Twain I Feel Like a Woman barbershop quartet Style with some homeless guys outside of Keyport liquor. love Shania Twain. How's your Sunday?
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