Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
when I forget a girls name in bed I ask her her middle name then tell her i'm gonna call her that from now on
that knocking you heard last night......that was her head slowly going through the wall
Taking jello shots out of a big bowl from a measuring spoon. holla atcha boy.
his mom gave me my lost underwear folded up along with the rest of my christmas present. tell me this cannot be happening.
we got hammered off table wine and i ended up biting my acrylic nail off so i could finger his butt.. ill never look at valentines day the same
it's like his penis is God's way of saying "sorry about his face"
I got arrested for "public intoxication". Fuckers threw me out of the bar into public... i mean shit they have thirsty Thursdays. And I get thrown out for self serve Sundays plus a citation.
He makes this seasoned whore feel like a novice. I've met the one.
stuck in a tree...bring a ladder. also my arm might be broken. no questions are allowed.
If she wants experimental lesbian sex, i call dibs
I found her in my pantry with her shirt off twerking...I tapped her on the shoulder and she said she was giving Chef Boyardee a show and to give her a minute...
Am I just high or is she having an auction for her vagina on Twitter
Haha. I have resting bitch face. He has I want y'all to die face. It's a subtle difference
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
Randomize