Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
I just fell for a fake 50 dollar bill in a urinal. Fuck pittsburgh
You were petting your shoe and saying this makes me really happy
I think my vagina was keeping me fat all these years out of self preservation. It's like she knew what would happen if I lost the weight.
i'm gonna start fucking more girls with asthma. help feed my ego.
I've liked him since I puked on him on my birthday so I want it to be special.
crossing my fingers that hitting golf balls off my pourch was a dream and not something that actaculy happened
And then he said he would build me a mountain dew water fountain
Marry him now.
we came into the house to find you doing shots by your self and when we told you to stop you locked yourself in the bathroom...
did I at least say anything...
you meowed at us and said you're a cat and cats drink for a living
You kept saying we got to find the end of the rainbow, which turned out to be a box of lucky charms and Guinness in the bag of cereal
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
His name was Kyle but I insisted on calling him baby Jesus all night and then we did a line and he bought me Taco Bell so idk
I got laid two nights in a row
And none for Gretchen Wieners...
I may or may not be sitting in a bubble bath drinking wine, watching Jurassic park, and wearing a Russian fur hat.
We're so high we're eating flavored lube.
Randomize
