Can we have unprotected sex soon?
Don't quote me on that, I'm a walking boner
am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
here I sit at Southern Illinois' finest pubs and I thought I heard your laugh. I was sadly astonished to turn and find a midget cracking herself up reading the label on her can of chewing tobacco...
I sat a few seats down and one row behind a cute girl at the Cubs game today. Having watched her talk to the guy next to her, I found out only her name and age. I then used that information and pieced it together with over 500 girls on Facebook with the same name. I found the same girl, and we're now fbook friends.
if being a creepy fuck was an olympic sport, they'd think you were using performance enhancing drugs...
I have on cowboy boots and a ten gallon hat. I'd say I'm a little past tipsy
I think I might.. possibly.. like a Justin Bieber song.
I think you might... possibly... have sprouted a vagina.
It never fails.. every time I have a dick in my mouth he calls me.
I just blurted out "it's pretty tight isn't it"
And I swear to god I'll divorce you if you so much as say a single sentence in Yoda talk in our bedroom. I may be a nerd but that's just fucking creepy
I just think his face would be more attractiveif it was framed by my thighs
I'm pretty sure I made out with a guy in a man thong.
I tried to steal a Mike's Hard sign last night but it didn't work out
why what happened?
Well it was going fine.. until the bouncer noticed the three foot steel lemon sticking out of my jacket.
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
He tried to break dance on the island in the kitchen and ended up knocking over everyone's alcohol onto the floor then yelled "GUCCI" before vomiting
Dude, fate has brought her to your penis.
Randomize
