if your dad confronts the dude you fucked about the background check he did on him, NOT GONNA GET A CALL BACK
I had to get a ride home from that girl that slept with 3/4 of the band
Sorry I couldn't get my dick out
I maybe late, he's in a peeing contest with the neighbor's dog. Currently he's in the lead.
i wanted to ask her what his dick looked like but i thought that would be weird for the first time i met her
Dude. Her vagina is a blender.
She lost her glasses and we found them on the roof. Don't ask questions. Kings cup was intense last night.
My mom has finally acknowledged my soft spot for Russians. Finally.
i'm totally cool with all the dick sucking you're doing down there, but as your brother i think i'm supposed to warn you our parents will be home in 5
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
You kept yelling stranger danger at Nick because he was talking to that girl you didn't like. Your not invited ever again.
Its one thing to reject me, but to reject me AND my hottest friend AT THE SAME TIME!?!?
so.. he paid for my flight to vegas, took me to shows, bought my drinks and STILL rescued my drunk ass after i ditched him. i HAD to cuddle with him this morning.. fair exchange, right?!
He spent three years trying to get a chance with me and finally broke me down. then he came in two minutes and was so upset he locked himself in the bathroom so I helped myself to his weed and left. Wanna get stoned?
I'm gonna write a book entitled "when you give a cop a cookie..."
I don't even want to know.
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