he kept farting in my kitchen and blaming it on the dog. then we went to wendy's and he spent twenty minutes in the bathroom. im pretty sure he shit his pants.
you should have known when you found out he drove a mini cooper not to hang out with him.
I think my tv knows when im high and tells taco bell
It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
WHATEVER CLASS IS PLAYING "TOOT IT AND BOOT IT" AT 8:30 IN THE MORNING, I WANT IN.
If you can't find your cat in the morning it's cause i put him in the laundry basket and then put the laundry basket in the shower.
Just got my period. This just makes my beach escapade totally even that much more ok.
My friend and I just coined a new term. OBJ. The obligatory blow job. You totally know what I'm talking about.
Like if he goes down on you first, or you just don't want to bone him yet. OBJ.
He tried to finger me at Disneyland! He tried to taint the happiest place on earth!
Well, I wanted to be you for Halloween but I couldn't fit seven dicks in my mouth.
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
Dude my pants were only on for 20 minutes after she got there.
That's 30 minutes too many.
i tried to propose to him with my nipple ring but i couldnt figure out how to take it out
You got me 4 pizzas and i just saw this. I'm too drunk for this shit. I just yelled "4 pizzas holy shit!" At the pizza dude
I just masterbated to the Lets Get Ready To Rumble theme
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