i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
Your dad touched me again.
Banging your ex-girlfriends best friend 3 days after you break up is like saying "fuck you" with feeling. I wouldnt have it any other way.
I just sat in the Taco Bell drive-thru waiting for a trash can to take my order. Yes, that high.
He waited til after we had sex to tell me he had herpes... Ugh I hate being drunk
Oh shit. The kids are pole dancing on a broom. It's like I'm seeing my future offspring before my eyes.
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
Her legal name is Candy. Her being a whore is implied.
No, no... it's pale and surrounded by awkward, curly, red hair. It's the Ronald McDonald of penises.
I'm just going to say , cocktail races are not for a Wednesday night maybe not even a Friday type of deal
The only downside to doctor sex is that getting choked with a stethoscope leaves marks.
Meeting up with one of your students at your drug dealers house is always an awkward moment
Let's just say that I took off my pants and I had superman boxers on. Then she took off her pants and she had batman panties on. I think she's the one!
don't do laundry while your drunk! i found a ketchup bottle & clothes hanger in the washer this morning!
His junk had piercings everywhere. The dick and balls. It was a fucking pirate penis.
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