Do you not remember dry humping your dog for 20 minutes at oxfest dude?
I'm drinking in the hospital parking lot.
Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
then she said "on the count of three I think we should apologize to eachother"
you know its a sad night when you can actually see and hear sitcoms on at the bar
Just dropped $150 at the liquor store. No power and two feet of snow has taken my alcoholism to another level.
remember last night when you and I took turns yelling THIS IS HUGE in my dogs faces? I love wine night.
Yeah I had to push her down the hallway to the hotel room in a luggage carrier. The guy at the desk told me goodluck
At some point last night Lemondrops turned into me doing shots of vodka and eating sugar packets at the bar.
Also he wants to know a casual, consise way to ask a girl in a bar if he could eat her out. Think on that.
I think I'm in love. He's everything I ever wanted for myself, just with a lot more drugs.
I think pretend fucking a camel is a good thing to do downtown. They loved me.
Fuck him. He can bang that skeezer all he wants. Fuck her lawyerness I’m a YouTube star
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
Randomize
