Solid performance last night. Wanna be fuck buddies?
just found a beer in my hamper. even my laundry is a dirty alcoholic.
i swear i just saw perry the platypus. the fuck dude. i shouldnt even know who that is
I love my penis, it thinks for me sometimes
I just took boredom to a whole new level. I just auto-tuned and remixed today's western civ lecture
Just beat my spinning in office chair record. Almost puked. Totally worth it.
he thinks im joking when i say don't visit. i mean it's summer...he was the college fuck and now it's time for the summer fuck
I just tried to text you by typing "whoa" into my contacts.
I literally just got propositioned by a sugar daddy.
OUR DREAMS ARE BEING REALIZED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I want to get so drunk, you will need subtitles to understand me. Rough week.
He told me that before I went to bed I needed to do my stretches and then processed to demonstrate a squat thrust, while completely naked.
Watching a guy masturbate in real time is a lot less theatrical than porn had me to believe.
look, my penis is an amusement park, and it's closed for maintenance. why can't you just accept that?
You ghosted you're own booty call. Wow what a sad sad man.
His sister hates me so I took his virginity on her bed
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