Someone sharpied 'shit show' on my tits. Someone with excellent penmanship
we talked for like an hour, i feel like we really bonded. i mean i was simultaneously giving him head but you get the point.
Things I love twice as much when drunk: Taco Bell. Office chairs that roll. Classes.
I noticed how good my hair still looked. Apparently rum and coke in it helps it stay curly thru sex. May be using this more often.
someone wrote on his wall: "congrats on your engagement"
I think you may want to look into that...
Just put a dog collar on someone's child.....was a great hit with everyone but his mom.......I think she hates me. I'm okay.with that
There's two sisters at this place and they look competitive. Try for a threesome tonight?
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
If i still have my costume on when i get home from the bar i am gonna be pissed
I want a bottle of whiskey to be dropped at my doorstep like a stork drops babies when they are delivered to their parents.
God what have you done to be that much in need of alcohol.
Me WANTS my preciousssssssssss
The smell of mosquito spray completely ruined the sex.
Should I tell this TSA agent his fly is down while he is trying to hit on this chick?
all we have is white fucking wine this is a travesty it's christmas not a fucking funeral
It was fine. Until I accidentally shit on his floor.
I couldn't be more proud to be a cougar. Just wondering how these twenty somethings learned how to fuck so well? Must be porn.
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