So did the night end well for you?
I stole a traffic cone and drunk texted my sister because i couldn't think of any other girl to text
The lack of pants and amount of productivity in my life right now is amazing.
Rode a jet ski for the first time three days after I lost my virginity. Hell of a week for my vagina.
WHY AM I BEING COCKBLOCKED BY A KID PLAYING HAVA NAGILA ON THE SAXAPHONE
i woke up completely naked except for a bottle of beer saran wrapped in between my boobs
Someone shat in our tub last night. I'm not pointing fingers but you priors make you a prime suspect.
You know what would make this walk of shame even better? Picking up my cap n gown on the way to my car
Found a phone out last night at the bar. EPIC homemade porn vids on it!
She just got on the scale. frowned, got off and took off her pants and then got back on
Never start off a conversation with "speaking of STD's..."
Sorry my phone died because I decided charging my vibrator was way more important
His beard looks like it smells like beer, cocaine and old pussy juice
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
Idk what's worse.... Yesterday not waking up in my bed or today waking up in the hello kitty gown.
Thanks for driving us home last night. Also, blanket apology for anything I may have said/done. I blacked out sometime near the t-shirt cape incident
Randomize
