i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
Just saw an old lady trip and stumble. Laughed. Kept Driving. I'm going to hell.
bubblegum was invented today. we're getting drunk. end of story.
Were driving two hours to st louis so we can pee on the arch. See you in the morning. I might be sober by then.
Apparently 'she used to sleep with my brother' is not an acceptable answer to how do you know each other.
His roommate left already and took the beer pong table so we had to take off his bedroom door. Maybe res life won't notice.
Dress was in bathroom covered in shards of glass, earrings on living room floor, bracelet still missing, purse in backyard. The cast of Princess Bride all left the bar to make sure I was ok. Perfect night
I now have a full length bright red cape in my possession. Best sex trophy ever.
I'm not sure we can use safewords tho. She smokes so much she had to keep asking what the safewords was. Bondage and bongs don't mix
He must have found my secret supply of blow and took a bump before we left the house. Rude.
He could of at least asked
Yeah man... I ordered donuts, drank wine, and cried to a movie with Seth Rogen in it. Do you really think I have my shit together?
Got done with class, now I'm buying MD 2020 with the ex. Sure feels like college.
So I almost just died there. And we need a new garage door.
I haven't seen her in probably 3 months and when she showed up wasted to my house she promptly pulled out her tit
the fact that you beer bonged rum made me so proud, the fact that you threw up an entire footlong tuna melt after... not so much babe
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