hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
I just had the ultimate walk of shame. I'm barefoot, in his gym short with vomit in my hair and I walked half a mile through campus. At noon. Thanks for picking up ur phone
You asked the waitress for a vasectomy and handed her a butter knife, like you were ordering something from the menu
it went kinda like vodka, childhood memories, screaming/cursing, fist fight, tears, broken shit, passing out. in that order. tis the season.
like the penis drawn on my face is so detailed and well done, i'm not even upset about it.
He was pretty out of it. He heard crickets outside, and thought it was the laptop. So he put his ear to it, rubbed the keyboard, and said "tell me your secrets."
quick, send me a pic of a fat chick eating ice cream in a bikini. no joke, no questions, just do it.
Nope, I'm sticking to passive aggressive punishments. Like mismatching his socks and cumming on his leather couch. OCD is so wonderful.
hot buttered vodka was not a success. on any level.
You've never even broken a bone. You singlehandedly disprove natural selection
Maybe you need to change your pickup move. The "hey check these out" titty flash gets you the wrong kinda man.
he went to the bathroom at 5am only to come back and squeeze my boob before going back to sleep
Yeah, I probably need some combination of electric shock, massive quantities of LSD, and enough couch time time to make Woody Allen say "Enough".
She blew me while I watched the jets game and the hardest thing was deciding what to focus on more
Randomize
