So I'm playing pool in my cowboy boots and some guy came up looks at my boots and goes, "you should've got the boots with the fur"
some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
id like to point out that while i was just peeing a condom fell out of my vag.
Just saw your girl from last night... Be embarrassed
Although, I did get to see a Raiders fan and his toothless girlfriend get roughed up by the police and dragged out of the stadium. So the night wasn't a total loss.
Did you just reference Ludacris during my possible pregnancy scare of 2012?!
As i was laying there shouting that he dislocated my hip he actually reached his armed around and patted himself on the back
If this first date goes well and I like him, I won't sleep with him. But if it doesn't go well, I'll sleep with him.
Join us. We're on the roof drinking breakfast
NO MAKING MOLDS OF ANYONES GENITALS
Fine. Suck all the fun out of life.
You put on a bike helmet, yelled "doesn't matter fuck it" then punched a stick the fire
I was so high. I had so much hair. It was like all my hair follicles exploded.
This bird just went for my eyes. Does he think I'm dead???
Dude I'm fucking tired of freshman, there are god damn teeth marks on my dick again
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