Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
listening to techno makes your hand move faster while masterbating
sometimes when i'm walking through campus i wonder how many of these people have seen me puke
hey girl hope you're alright, you hit that tree really hard. have a good night.
Did i throw a brick at someone last night?
There's a transgender game of twister in the basement...God doesnt want me to type this paper.
I just had to give myself a pep talk to stop lying on my floor. Literally too hung over to function
Just pulled a Kenny Powers on a snowmobile
He said he was walking down to the White Castle for sliders, still drinking straight from a 750. He came back two hours later pushing a grocery cart that had two puppies in it.
The puppies promptly had the squirts all over the living room, as he had fed them the sliders.
I passed out and slept in my car. Now I feel like a hungover zoo animal. Look and laugh people, look and laugh.
She put a shot in my mouth and then hit me with a pillow..
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
you just have the mind of an innocent, non-tainted child.
YOU KNOW THAT'S BULLSHIT BECAUSE YOU'RE THE REASON IT'S BULLSHIT
Why does everyone always assume I'm fucking their boyfriends?
You are fucking her boyfriend.
The cure for a hangover evidently is not walking around in a costume in the sun towards of park of screaming children
Randomize
