Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
Just saw a girl trying to crack an egg with her butt cheeks. I think I know what we're doing thursday night.
just witnessed some guy trade his friend $5 and a condom for his keys.
Should I be alarmed that you're a regular enough at a bar to show up in sweatpants?
we had to stop you from eating moldy cake.. twice.
i feel like the 7 eleven by your house knows our deepest, darkest secrets
Today's forecast is horny with strong chance of booty calls. Low of Craigslist cruising, and a high of climaxing in a stranger's bed.
i just keep picturing us drunk surrounded by kittens.
So then you challenged the bartender to an arm wrestling contest for a free bottle of vodka
Sweet. Did I win?
Youre hungover arent you?
I've reached the point in my life where I desire cats more than men
WHY IS HE GONE WHEN I ACTUALLY HAVE THE AMOUT OF ESTROGEN TO HUMP A SQUIRREL?!?!
moms trying to set me up with a 28 year old. hes graduated university like im getting high in my bed and he's an adult
I think my pickup truck has been used for the sex... This doesn't sit right with me.
You put THAT much Jager in me and expect me to realize when things are a bad idea?
He said my vagina smelled like pomegranates. Its like my vagina is the fountain of youth.
Randomize