My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
that would combine my 3 fave things. christmas funfetti and paul simon
You deserve yourself a blunt and a build a bear.
So for Valentine's Day...I finally swallowed. I feel like I earned that steak.
Just don't have "pin the tail on the straight edge" as a party game... Please and thanks...
He filled our room with little plastic cups of beer so the only way I could get out was by drinking them all.
Well I disagree, 3 different men in my bed over my birthday was the perfect way to say goodbye to my childhood innocence
so i guess now we know you can get away with peeing mere feet from the Capitol if you shout IM PREGNANT at the guards
It's sitting in bleach right now. You will be the creepiest coolest dude in my book if you made a bracelet from my tooth.
posting about faith hill is really not helping you get me into your bed
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
As soon as I got there, you appeared out of no where, yelled "they're giving away free cigarettes!" in my face and then disappeared and I didn't see you the rest of the night.
The Uber driver took us to a Waffle House. We didn't even say anything when we got in. MAGIC.
i just need to find someone who enjoys eating frozen waffles as much as I do. It will be perfect.
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
Randomize
