He literally just walked in some random persons house and walked right to they're pantry. Then five minutes later he walks out with pop-tarts, mac and cheese, and captain morgan. We need to chill with this kid more often.
If he starts "inventing" things cut him off. The last thing he invented was chocolate chip green beans and he destroyed my kitchen
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
After 13 tally marks I wrote the number 4,000 and made u sign my arm to prove it.
This hangover is so bad, we are pregaming Chinese food with pizza.
He talked to you for like two seconds while you were shit faced doing Forest Gump impressions...how is that possible?
Vegas is great, yelled at a guy 4 lanes over if he wanted a bj. ended up having sex in a vacant lot. I think he was homeless.
He says he invented a new sex move called The Redbird that we can only do when I'm on my period. Should I be concerned?
Did you know there is a guy on the porch, wrapped in your snuggie, singing no woman no cry and drinking wine coolers?
I was walking out the front door and heard his roomate say "It looks like you need a chiropractor." I think my work here is done.
why did you put a dildo on the ceiling fan
the dildo had a suction cup and we had a ceiling fan what did you expect?
I found your birth control, it was in your Crown Royal bag.
I don't think I can get drunk, high or horny enough to even consider that
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
Lesbians just stole my cat :(
Randomize
