great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
...she just doesn't genetically have the things I want my kids to have.
Scott woke me up by cracking a beer open in my face. Best friends are awesome.
So even though we broke up apparently according to my voice mail you still like me, with smurfs while riding on a boat.
i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
I've spent more money on drugs for bonnaroo than my actual ticket. Proudly.
thats it. im teaching my cat how to use a fire alarm
Currently emptying half-full wine bottles from fridge into my mouth and refilling with water for later. Drunk survivalist recycling!
I will always remember that night by waking up in that tablecloth the next morning
can I share that I'd like to fuck him in my new car as a sort of car warming present to myself?
It's like the bat signal. He only texts me when I'm naked.
Personally, I'm gonna be Sexy Dobby the House Elf.
But really, someone with a penis give me attention before I start posting nudes on Instagram.
Oh and it took quite a bit of doing, but I managed to wipe my butt with the hat you left in my car
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
Randomize
