i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away
You sprayed lemon pledge on your crotch because it was "dusty"
I got an MIP via FUCKING HELICOPTER. Tuscaloosa police either have nothing to do or too many resources.
ENDLESS SCROLLING ON TUMBLR WAS MADE FOR HIGH PEOPLE!
I fed him jelly beans while he fingered me. Win, win situation.
I hid drinks in her bathroom closet.... like a squirrel... a squirrel who knew she was going to get cut off soon
How do I tell a friend I drunkenly broke into his house and may have lost his dog
cocks speak louder than words, as they say
Nobody says that.
So we were having sex and his roommate walks in eating a bag of chips. Then proceeds to talk to us about his bitch of a professor.
Did he at least offer you guys chips?
I'm studying. And by studying I mean I am laying on my floor drinking boones farm alone. Last two weeks. Fuck it.
Thanks for coming over. I'm sorry everyone else was vomiting. Thank you for not vomiting. I love you.
She definitely peed in a bucket in their closet last night. We should warn them about that, right?
Hmmm... I thought we agreed as a group we make our last stand in Philly...
I don't wanna go out like that. Covered in melted cheese smelling like a sewer rat...
I'm going to have to go for it. It's like Mt. Everest. It's large and unpredictable but I live for adventure and it's worth never coming back from. Mt. BigDick.
You took the glass microwave plate and said it was the closest thing to a frisbee, let me know how that works out for you
Randomize
