i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
I just masturbated into a dress sock. I feel fancy
Is there a nice way of saying 'touch my penis or i dont really wanna hangout"?
hows that letter of apology to the waitress at waffle house coming?
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
This time, try to not get fingered in the middle of the living room.
I DIDNT GET FINGERED
I was rubbed
I'm going for high school drunk, you've got 15 minutes to get here.
Dude if her licking my face hammered isn't love I don't really want to know what love is.
Thats Poetry
He took my virginity but also my remaining pizza. i dont know how to feel right now.
Oh like it's the first time I've had a bowl of wine
He drunk texted me what I think is two snails fucking on a mushroom. Is "you sick bastard" too mild a rejection?
"We drove to the deserted part of the parking lot, and that's where we blew each other. It was so romantic."
I just wish the first erections of my life didn't take place at a dentists office but hey whatever I turned out alright
dude me and this dog are gonna go bond oon the tramplene with stromboli... i think everyone is staring at me... being this high is SO stressful
God knew I'd have horrible taste in men, so made me asexual to ensure I'd never fuck them.
Randomize
