Rescue me. My white trash great uncle just pulled out his belly at the restaurant to show us how big this woman's tit was
Having dinner with my dad, watching the news and some AIDS prevention ad comes on. My dad then kindly informs me that he doesn't enjoy the feel of condoms.
Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
just customized my debit card w a pic of me ralphing over the toilet. figure it'll give the bar keep a good cut off est and for shits n giggles when buying my handles at the liqour store
Found my bike today. On top of the garage. I'm not even going to ask myself why.
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
I literally just biked home like I was on the last leg about to win the tour du France. Fuck diarrhea
Nothing says Panama City like condoms washing up on the shore.
If you sleep with him again I'll have you spayed
must go to store soon wiping with panty liner ugh
he has pokemon bedsheets but his dick is huge so i took one for the team
Apparently I'm some kind of sexual camel.
I fucked a marine... I told him it was like personal revenge and he said he could live with that and that he didn't mind being used.
Dude if I had a dollar for everytime she asked me to do weird shit with her when we were fucking I'd have like 4$
ok so you're 100% sure this time that he isn't your ex in disguise again?
Randomize