i just unintentionally masturbated to my own facebook picture
ok, my life is complete.... the cops AND the paramedic just made a Mean Girls reference...
he's wearing our apron and eating a pb and oreo sandwich. and calling the oreos "topless" since he took their tops off...
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
I'm eating crumbled blue cheese out of Tubbaware. My life is nothing.
I'm just a little drunk right now and I have to work at 3
Omg sara
I ran out of milk and it's hot and I was thirsty
She's on her way over to shave my year round sweater vest into a festive argyle sweater vest. Keeper?
Yea. I feel great. My life is great. My job isn't as shitty. And my daddy loves me. I love strip clubs. Great self esteem boost.
I just bought emergency deodorant at Dominick's and put it on in front of a homeless man while waiting for the bus. He laughed and said 'girl, you a mess'. This is my life.
He says I vaguely mumbled happy New year, kissed him, threw up and then went back to sleep.
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
I'm eating a bagel on the toilet and watching porn. Trust me, I've got my priorities straight.
I wish I could send you one of those donuts I had. Like teleport it to you. Because it would change your life
so i was thinking... those 6 am shots weren't really needed.
just passed a kid drinking a beer at 2pm. clearly it's the last day of break.
Randomize
