There's a show on bravo about fat people dancing. FAT PEOPLE. DANCING.
This is god's gift to the unemployed.
You going to midnight mass? we need a dd
I remember saying "sorry" to the blunt before throwing it out the window
I feel like college is just an experience in what names I can't name my future son.
josh has a chalupa in his pocket if you're hungry.
You expect me to find someone in two days who I feel comfortable enough with to ask them to get drunk and go play in foam with me?
It was all cool until he grabbed my vag and started screaming: THIS IS MINE.
I can't help the fact that i'm turned on by white boys that look like Jesus
I have a strong contender for the new number 1 position for fwb. He met me at the door with pizza and a shot of patron
Nope. Turns put my desperate group message for sex didn't work out.
Well you sent it to two guys who were roommates.
They could have rock paper scissored for it. My vagina = the prize.
Apparently I told him he would be good for human sacrifice.
I'm fucking sick of guys. I think I'm going to date myself. No drama. And I know I'll always put out.
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
Emily saved me from being trapped on my roof and then I beat her in a race at 5am it was a low key night
Alan said you can come over and eat me out anytime you want, as long as we give him enough notice to hide in the closet before we arrive
Randomize
