is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
i got kicked out of Barns and Nobles cuz i put all the bibles in the fiction section
New discovery: conditioner is better for jerking off than baby oil. Fuck yes.
Just found out my mom tried to sue the birth control company when she got pregnant with me...love you too mom.
I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
I am literally using a balloon as a pillow on a park bench.
This is the most scared i've been of my hands since i did shrooms.
I got to see some gay bartender let a girl with daddy issues whip Travis in the balls with his own belt. Totally worth it.
The walk home lasted longer than the sex. He lives in the flat above the bar.
We're exchanging our favorite porn sites at 9 am. I think this brings our relationship to a whole new level
how do you make "fuck me in the break room" sound casual?
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
How do I stop your cat from bathing me? I'm afraid she'll get drunk off my sweat
God gave you your own nipples for a reason.
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