i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
grilled cheese. we just shotgunned grilled cheese.
A horse told me not to drive home last night. I think there was a cop on top of it.
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
Apparently riding the dog like its a small horse is frowned upon in this establishment
He's nice but I'm a one bouncer kind of girl
Last night I was this close to hooking up with someone called "Handjob Pat" dubbed for the time he paid $150 for a handjob in Canada.
He talked for 3 hours straight on how his dad is a dentist how fuck do you think my night was
I am descending into that finals week rage fueled by ramen, mountain dew and bad sex is what's up.
you said something about joining a k-pop band before passing out topless on the trampoline.
Also at one point I told him to say my name and it took him like 5 seconds to remember.
And I had on a penis ring on the whole time at dinner. And I ate veal...
Did you happen to find my bra? I'm pretty sure I still had it on before we left that bar
We had everything under control until this one jackass fucked up. Thanks, Peter.
Nice. Make him jerk off and tape it. Send it to his woman. I also love that you had another skype date
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