you dragged me by my throat over to the shots. this is a new level of alcoholism..
Watched a women out our tannin salon literally fight police because she was getting arrested for trying to drunkenly fight the tanning salon owner...we need to step up our day drinking this is shameful.
Just beat 2 Norwegian women in beer pong. Never been so proud to be an American.
Was I at least a good cuddler? Like at least honorable mention?
I'm at a new rock bottom. Malibu on ice at work because it's the only thing they've got and no mixers.
I am going to buy some m-80's and keep a bucket of them in the bathroom. That way I can just depth charge the toilet before each time I use it. Lets see how those snakes like cheap Chinese explosives
I'm going to fake an anxiety attack to get to the front of the line. Save me some brisket.
I got back and Katie was asleep holding a burrito. I woke her up and she ate it and passed back out.
you're no funn. i shall go consult my friend vodka on this matter.
She asked the bartender for "7 shots of something fruity" and long story short the bartender punched me in the face. Chivalry is stupid.
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
Jesus Christ, it's not like going swimming. You don't have to wait 20 minutes after you eat to suck a dick
Weight watchers just said "you've tracked beer three times recently, want to make it one of your favorites?" I'm begining to understand why I needed to go in the first place.
Anytime you wish.we are doing double shots in the kitchen,and I drank a beer in the shower,so...the sooner you get here,the sooner you can get on our level.
It was just like the old times. We watched movies and shit. But not like old times-i fucked her hot brother when she was in the shower? Times are a'changin.
Randomize
