the fundamentals of my vasectemy are strong
well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
Get your penis over here NOW. emergency
The wizard has you scheduled for a 6am sex breakfast
I'm so there
He tried to tip me with his police badge...
and you didn't accept WHY?!
Your dick is going to fall off. Be careful or you'll get callouses. A workingman's dick.
Well we did eat French fries lady-and-the-tramp style last night...
If by some world ending natural disaster I get into an actual relationship with this kid, should I tell him the truth about the web of lies I've based our current relationship on?
I got back and Katie was asleep holding a burrito. I woke her up and she ate it and passed back out.
She was yelling at the tater tots, "In five minutes, you're going in my mouth!"
Welp, just took a tab of acid and cracked one of three bottles of champagne... Mondays ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯
so i showed up to the bars in a sombrero and a tie as a headband... so yeah, they didn't let me in
He literally shouted this Viking war cry when he cam. Then as we laid there he sang me the most beautiful rendition of " When Irish Eyes are Smiling". I've never been more confused.
We should form a club for all of us that have stabbed a sibling with a fork!
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