He just told me his cousin just died and I look like her. Reconsidering the sex.
So My parents cut me off after I started making blood marys with hienz ketchup
I just opened up the mens room door to a dude pissing in the urinal and pointing at himself in the mirror
How is it possible that I am in a completely different city, and there are 2 dudes here that I've banged? How????
I have a feeling she doesn't appreciate me as a person. She only fucks me because I look like Harry Potter.
Getting stoned at work has never been a good idea, but im always more than willing to give it another chance
Have you ever stopped and thought "I do NOT want to be inside of this person right now. Or ever." Because you should.
It gives me purpose in life to help fulfill nerdy fantasies. Like I'm doing something good for mankind and having multiple orgasms in the process.
She flashed them and they let her pay with Monopoly money. I'm married, so it is your obligation as my best man to repeatedly fuck her for me
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
She makes margaritas with lemon-lime 5 hour energy..thats brilliant
and you were wondering how she got into Harvard
If I had a dick, I'd stick it in some Oreo pancakes
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
Listen this is important.. if I die tonight you have to be the drug dealer at my funeral
He bought me pizza and bourbon and played scrabble with me. So naturally I slept with him.
Randomize