i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
I'm not going to fuck him in his Honda Fit. That's gay.
smelt my brothers hands when he got home to see if he lied about smoking again...he didn't lie but i definitely didn't expect to smell some other girls vagina.
what's the name of that soccar player i bit again?
Mystery solved: The table is broken because I had sex on it last night.
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
We were on the ground in Tampa for 55 hours and we drank for 30 of them.
We won Spring Training 2013.
You got Broadway Drunk, dude. I haven't heard you sing "Music Of The Night" like that since the last time I was holding you up on the way to the subway at two in the morning.
I've never seen an uncircumcised penis. I mean in person. I've clearly seen an uncircumcised penis. I have the google.
I'm honored that you could tear yourself away from your girlfriend's vagina long enough to text me.
My bail money is reserved for people I either A, think were in the right, or B, have an awesome story that leads up to needing it. Just remember that before you call me.
Drunk him got in a fight with his wife he literally bought a plane ticket and flew to Hawaii. He just called me and asked why I let it happen. From Hawaii hahaha.
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
i need to get crying drunk at the bar more often. i end up going home with guys who have big penises. its like God is saying "there, there, this will cheer you up".
Randomize
