You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
So I'm driving and this guy next to me at the stop light is reving his engine and honking at me. Motherfucker thinks that's because I'm asian and drive a honda I'm automatically going to race him
I just realized there's an entire generation of children that will never know Alex Trebek had a mustache... Sad.
By the third Id pass back i figured the bouncer had fucked one of us.
You'd think somebody who rolls blunts like jesus himself could roll a god damn burrito
I was scared that I should know him but I was too busy blacking out to remember
Exotic beer tasting at my apt right now and by that I mean I bought random beer and I'm drinking it on my balcony
Glad to know I rate above a cabbage on the parenting scale.
Seriously, she had fingers that made me thank a god I don't even believe in that I'm gay.
These people don't understand my stages of drunk
All I know is when I checked my phone this morning google translate was open with "help the cow ate my robot" translated to French
It's like I'm getting a welcome home parade with sex!
Never ever make a tattoo bet. I now have a shamrock on my dick.
My fart just smelled like the inside of white castle, I mean spot on, no difference whatsoever.
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