Can I come over?
Can't... I'm at class right now.
No your not
I'm outside by your car.
dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
i think of them as a grilled chicken salad and a fried chicken biscuit. obviously Amy is better for me, but when i'm eating her all i can think about is how much better the blonde must taste.
If we don't get kicked out of this hotel tonight for fucking too loud we're breaking up
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am.
We played "race the Jimmy John's driver". Order, then see if we can finish sex before the food arrives.
I woke up covered in his pee. And then he poked me on Facebook.
I'm reliable. I always make it home. I always throw up in the street too.
I just realized I haven't got laid since the last time the Browns won.
Drinking wine from a straw at 6:15 in the morning. This is what college does to people.
ok I know you arent happy with the way we ended but paying someone to pass me an STD is TOTALLY FUCKED!!!
He had the same tone in his voice and look in his eyes that he gets when he says UFOs aren't real.
I woke up cuddling a ham. That's not a euphemism. I actually slept with an entire ham.
Almost ran out to the street bowl in hand when I hear the ice cream truck pull up outside.
Everything about that text makes me proud to be your sister.
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