i swear to god her finding her clit was like looking for a sock in a dryer full of beach towels
His dick was as big as my arm. Giving him a handjob was like giving someone an Indian sunburn.
I've hooked up with three guys in my accounting class. I'm beginning to think my teacher failed me so I can start getting laid again.
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
Oh they knew you from a bachelorette party! You were the pole?
Ohhh shit yeah that was me. Fuck. I hate myself when I do that.
My picture of a beer can in a McDonalds cup full of ice got more likes than my relationship with her. Is beer THAT much better than monogamy?
His thanks his mom for not having an abortion at his wedding toast. I love frat weddings.
I'm trying to have a "pick me up from my house so I can get completely annihilated night" any takers? Cmon people this is what friends are for
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
I told you, she may have multiple personality disorder, but like in the most upbeat way possible.
I'm willing to share. He can have sloppy seconds.
I mean go ahead and let your freak flag fly but if you could not fly it in my bed that would be great
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
You told me you were going to invite all of your Tinder matches to the same bar on the same night and make them compete for your affection in a series of Lust Olympics. Winner gets laid.
Granted, I did not plan to spend ANY hour of the last day of 2020 sober.
Randomize