Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
I have a new reason to go to work: I can tell which 3 of my coworkers are sisters just by looking at their butts.
I love Japanese schoolgirls with short skirts riding bikes on windy days.
You're never coming back, are you?
i think i should save myself the $200 for a prom dress. i mean why bother. its just going to be covered in vodka/jizz/and puke by the end of the night.
Omg just woke up. 6am. random apartment. broad daylight. bunch of ppl doin coke around me. Theres a bridge nearby. I think my dentist is down the block. Oof.
she made me put on a condom before giving me a handjob...this is why i hate freshmen
I just saw her shopping list. The only things on it are blackberries, hot fudge and condoms. I almost don't wanna know. Almost.
I know. You don't know poor life choice until your sitting on the floor of a community bathroom waiting to vomit at 4 am
If the cops knock on your door and ask if you saw anyone throw an orange out the window I was never there.
I know shes my ex. And I know she punched me in the face and stole my car to go get drunk. But it's the best sex I've ever had.
You're sick. Take pictures if you can.
Considering that your "hello" was replaced with "Fuck yo couch," I'm not surprised that you have a black eye.
what better way to celebrate the birth of jesus christ than to get embarrassingly intoxicated and make poor decisions!?
If sandwichs had dicks, my life would be complete
You -do- realize there are other things to talk about than just how different parts of you smell like pussy, right?
if you're wondering why I texted you some girl's name at 4 am it's because you wanted to Facebook stalk the girl who gave that Irish guy we met at the Chinese food place her license and said 'call me'
Randomize
