Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
I wanna get so fucked up that I try to catch a coyote in a pillowcase, breakdance fight a lion, and send back some toast at Denny's when I see its slightly burnt.
If a guy called my cleavage "mesmerizing" but is kinda related to me, does it still count?
I just watered my plants with apple juice. Look what you made me do.
That was the gentlest I've ever been bitten in the face by a dog
he ruins everything I try to do including his roommates
He was having a "party in the princess castle." At what point do I blindfold him and take him to AA?
Okay do all 29 year olds have erectile dysfunction or just the two I've slept with?
I dunno. We kind of want to have a hippie communing with nature type break. But because we're such alcoholics I feel like we'll just be wasted the whole time in addition to hugging trees and shit
My parents woke me up at noon to tell me my maid had found my clothes strewn all over the neighborhood
I love 3rd shift and working at a hotel I just had a late night booty call while I was getting paid..could life get any better??
I woke up with my shoes still on and my pants around my ankles cause I couldn't get them over my shoes
He just told me my boobs made up for all the bad things that had ever happened to him. I'm definately having sex with him again.
Have u seen my vagina and my gorilla costume? Im in need of it.
I bonged champagne. And did keg stands. What in the actual fuck am I doing with my life?
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