Banned from zoo.
Again?
i live my life in a constant state of hangover.
My mom can no longer prohibit me from smoking pot..I sell to her boyfriend.
I keep getting texted pictures of my husband with other men. I can't figure out if he wants a divorce or a threesome?
Wait, how is it that I'm just getting ready to go out and you're already showing your penis to freshmen girls?
No, he's fine. He only wanted to know why there were traffic pylons in the living room and how the peanut butter got on the ceiling.
She's good at three things and two of them involve dicks. And other one involves her love for arts
We got really high and decided it would be a good idea to wash towels in the dishwasher. I left before I could see the final result.
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
Your roommate is pacing with a pen in his mouth flapping like a duck. That brownie got me fucked but not enough to understand this. Come back!
He does that
why does drunk me think that doing things like throwing up on my desk and all over my 15 page lab report is okay
for not the first time in my life, my clothes are covered in piss and i'm standing in line waiting to buy pedialyte at a convenience store
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
I feel like I should have held a press conference. The state of my vagina
Okay so as of now, we may either be coming for one night, two nights, or not at all this weekend. It depends on Laura's toe and if I get my period. Will explain later
Randomize
