Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
He just went up to bed, still drunk from last night, carrying a pear, a pipe, and an unopened bottle of wine. I think he'll be fine.
PS- I just stirred my mimosa with a slice of bacon
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
Imagine that my comprehension level is that of a 7 year old and explain your plan again
Ummm so does anybody remember me stopping to get my ear peirced last night and make an earring out of a staple? Or did I just somehow lay on this thing and ram it through my ear?
She just had to change the song on the radio cause I was tap dancing on her windshield
THE BIG GAY MAD HATTER IS HERE AND HE HAS DRUGS IN HIS PANTS FOR YOU. COME DOWNSTAIRS BITCHEZZZZ
She sent me a map and directions for a booty call. In a park. Give me reason not to marry her.
i was talking to them for like 5 mins and they were like HEY LETS GET A PICTURE and tequila said it was good idea
she stole my Timberlands and my Sublime shirt and left her heels and bra. this is war
well he never texted me back and the pizza I took my rage out didn't deserve such malice
I rewarded myself with Taco Bell tonight for going a full week without punching my roommates in the face or wishing bodily harm on them.
You squatted and peed on the living room floor while maintaining eye contact with Sebastian
If you survived your 72 hour masturbation marathon put on some pants and come over. My mom dropped off a lasagna.
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