Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
He then proceeded to try to whisper up my nose...
if you lined all their dicks up next to eachother, it would be like at&t bars
The good news is the bleeding stopped. I think I'm going to sober up before I tell you the bad news though.
The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas
btw found the cat. he didn't appreciate the toilet bath.
I'm gonna have to flying elbow somebody tonight in memory of Macho Man
Zach is always passed out on the floor somewhere.face down in a puddle of his own absurdity
Then she said I give the best mouth hugs and bar went silent.
The ONE weekend I don't put anything up my nose, and it decides to bleed like crazy
Lesson learned:nothing good comes from an at home wax kit.
Came home from this girls horse at 6am to find a guy lighting off roman candles in front of my door. Best walk of fame I've ever had.
Whenever someone tells me they've never met a bisexual, I feel like a majestic fucking unicorn.
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
It was only a blow job in his car. It's the same as giving a friend a back rub.
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