you definitely have a few illegitimate kids
probs. Not too worried about it though. MOst girls are too embarrassed that they let me into their pants that they'll never admit its mine
Can you believe The 5th Element didn't get best fight scene in 1997?! I'm still bitter. 12 years later.
Haha how do you remember that?
HOW COULD I FORGET?!
So I got a little fucked up on the punch, and made out with the family friend. Which is apparently morally reprehensible. I don't get that.
with your vagina and my liver, anything is possible
I offered to go to AA with him...not because I am admitting I have a problem but because I want to see what they are saying about people like us.
hey, haven't seen your testicles in a while...you 3 still alive?
MISSING: One left eyebrow. Reward if returned.
I don't think everyone found it as funny as I did... Nothing says "Party's Over" like the sound of a pump action shotgun.
Bombed my 8 a.m. exam and the liquor store doesn't open till noon. Drinking unfinished beers from last night till they open.
Why are there hooting douchebags outside my building? Did a sport happen again?
It feels like New Years Day all over again...me trying desperately not to throw up in the backseat & mom and dad blissfully unaware in the front
He challenged me to a drink off, I couldn't just say no. It was a matter of pride really.
And as he was cursing your name from the bathroom you were ordering yourself another drink on his tab. The poor bastard had no clue you were a pro drunk
Nothing says hey I wanna be your friend again like ambushing me with a dick pic
This is a question I thought I'd never have to ask. How many hits of acid did you give your dad tonight?
You better have a raging boner when I get to your house and it better be worth missing work in the morning.
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