for me the strap perfect is like a chastity belt
She posted on her FB that he moved out...It's like she wants me to fuck him.
Dude, didn't you know? Its balls out wednesday.
Second wave of rafting ended in a concussion. Don't worry though, the paramedic says it's still not considered a DUI.
Sometimes familiar penis is best. Its like comfort food for your vagina.
Well I don't think you can suck his dick while he's making pizza. I think that goes against some health codes.
She makes him look at her naked pics before she sends them to someone she's actually going to fuck. I think this makes him mayor of the friend zone.
I'd cum for enchiladas.
A stoners worse nightmare? Well packaged snacks. Just took me 5 mins to get a cinnamon roll out of the package. And another 3 mins to properly type this text
I'm going to preface tonight by saying that I'm sorry for tequila, shopping carts, and having to chase me.
I'd love you more if you were covered in hot cheetos
I'm high. I apologize for that last sentence
All the doctor said was why
So my balls are accidently making an appearance on snapchat
I finally selected an outfit that says "I'm not easy" but still shows off the tittays.
Randomize
