I wish there was an iPhone app to help you with your shitty personality.
So I'm going back to my apartment just to get my vibrator.
I thought you were moving in with your boyfriend for the summer?
Well....one will keep me from having to pay rent and the other satisfies. I'll let you figure it out.
I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
I called the bar to ask if they found my Id and credit card and they remembered me as 'the girl who signed her receipt in blood'
All i learned in high school was how to sell drugs
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
Time is so short and I miss you. (I just watched that commercial where the people all laugh and get older and die.)
I am coping with the snow storm with beer and shots of jack. If I were outside in shorts I might be able to pass as a Canadian.
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
I am at a new level of appreciation for drunk-you, who threw up into her own sweatshirt pocket last night in the car. Brava.
I had sex in a panda mask the other night.
All that stuff they told us in middle school about drugs being easy to find was a bullshit lie.
I taught three men with PhDs how to make a gravity bong last night. I love academia.
christmas shopping: 3 hours in the liquor store...
I remember 2 things. 1. Hanging through the window. 2. And she needing a bucket to puke in. That’s all. I have no other memory.
Randomize
