I'm at a Rock of Love themed party. New high? New low? I can't tell.
Wait. Scratch that. It's not themed. These girls are just sluts.
these 2 russian guys walked past me and i got freaked out because i thought call of duty got real
used foursquare to find where i am. please come get me. this is the scariest bedroom ever.
We saluted the chips to the national anthem before cooking them. The house has to get a munchies fryer
She's going to get preggers, drop out of school, and end up working at mcdonalds. Great for our mcdoubles habit but bad for her future.
I don't know what possessed you to do that, but you have to give the stripper more money before you try to check her oil or they are going to throw us out every time you do that.
I was to tired to jerk him off, so he made me hold it while he thrusted into my hand.
Do you know how I hurt my ankle or my shoulder? Or the origin of any of the following mystery bruises: left quad, left wrist, right elbow. Thanks for playing.
You say you're gonna take rehab seriously... but i keep imagining it as a training montage for you preparing to snort all of columbia.
That actually is really sweet of you
Yea. I feel great. My life is great. My job isn't as shitty. And my daddy loves me. I love strip clubs. Great self esteem boost.
She's like the Oprah of therapy. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. WITH A PADDED ROOOOM
i think we watched the dark knight rises after you left but i might have passed out through most of it. I remember crying at the end though. sad tears then happy tears.
Everyone is like kids first day of school and I'm over here like I need to stop sleeping with random
Update: his apartment is apparently in the campus Christian community center. The fact that I fucked him on the couch in the lobby is officially my crowning life achievement.
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