Whatever is fine with me, as long as I am dressed in green and end up shitfaced.
I don't know what you drank last night but you really enjoyed the 4 egg body shots.
Chasing 100 proof soco w water from the tap at 4 pm, it's gonna one of those kinda Thursdays...
Bible prof is the guy I made out with at the gay bar on the fourth. He doesn't remember.
She was literally passed out in a cubicle with a flask in her hand. I LOVE finals week!
After they flagged you, you hid in a bathroom stall and text me to bring you more shots. That kind of drunk.
The only responsible thing ive done in vegas is shower and that was onky to clean vomit off me
And I'm glad you're waiting to invite him over. he may have a weird penis thing and then dinner becomes awkward.
It was bitter sweet because I woke him up with sex but then I peed in his bed with him in it
When we left, you were on your third beer. When we came back to grab you, you had a pint glass half full of whiskey and had convinced the band to give you a microphone.
Actually, lets be honest. I will probably keep calling him the pastor because it brings me joy using pastor and fuck buddy in the same sentence.
I shouldn't have watched rise of the planet of the apes and then gotten high. I'm now convinced that the cats are out to get me.
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
Here’s how sick I am. I’m not hungry. I don’t want coffee. And I don’t want dick. So, you know it’s bad.
my boobs just made me lose a game of beer pong. the balls hit them, bounced off and into the cup. twice. ive never been so disappointed in them.
Randomize