I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
We have had massive layoffs this year, yet the guy who cant flush his shit seems to still have a job
my roommate and her friend got reaallllly high last night and it looks like they played scrabble. one of their words is "nippal"
I am midnight drunk by noon
just heard someone say they saw a guy puke while riding a bike across campus without stopping
drinking out of a sandbucket again
Talking about the game in the closet with a banana wearing sunglasses.
answered a 6 am booty call this morning...you were still in the er so I thought what the hell
Just saw two dudes run across the street carrying a mini keg and a scaled model of the empire state building. Missed this town
I'm really glad that we can be casual hook up buddies. This is a true friendship. Now, please convince your roommate to do the same. Thanks.
I know, but the fabulousness of my baggies should not be what defines my business as a drug dealer.
I found a video of us drunkenly yelling "we wanna be the Pope" as we passed around the blunt
a guy just skateboarded past my window in a bunny suit while chased by a dog walker
I just ate the lyft drivers bacon cheeseburger. Well fuck me this night escalated quickly.
No, this year you're all getting coupons for things like "no yelling because you had sex in my apartment" or "the last beer."
Randomize
