Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
Cool, so I just walked in on my grandfather checking his prostate in the kitchen.
Found her. Shes unconscious up against the room door. Her credit card is in the keycard slot
I tried to show my boob for free volcano tacos at taco bell last night. Not boobs. Just boob. The manager wasn't allowing it.
He gave me an elaborately handwritten invite (on a bar coaster) back to his place and whispered in my ear 'i have ping pong'. And he said byob. fuck THAT.
He put crushed up bacon in the joint and now we're listening to the Matilda soundtrack I have no idea what's going on
Boobs speak an international language.
Great. I broke up with him before he could like my selfie, now I'm down a like.
It's like the hunger games, but we're gonna bone each other instead of kill each other
This weekend I turned down sex to watch the Star Wars marathon... Is this growing up?
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
Drunk level: ugly crying in the bar upon discovery of sweet tarts and not smarties.
condom fairy costume came in handy...we were making out in my living room and he wanted it so i took a condom off the costume and we did it right there...with my tutu still on....
Newest quarantine problem - I’ve watched all of the porn. Like everything on the the internet, all the DVDs, mags, VR, leisure suit Larry all of it and I’m still horny af
Don’t listen to me, I’m walking around wearing nothing but rave bracelets and headphones shouting “yeeeeaaahhhhhh”
Randomize