It's more exciting when they aren't single....and even better when you have to pretend that you just slept with their roommate while trying to do the walk a shame as their girlfriend comes marching into the apt.
Im not the least bit jealous of the life you lead.
i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
State Street has never looked so beautiful than during my walk of shame.
he was so drunk he doesn't remember anything. I have to break up with him all over again
A female Wisconsin fan just headbutted the bouncer. Im deeply terrified and oddly aroused at the same time.
It's like she can't drink without using a flambongo
Driving to get a preg test with my ex, wearing my unicorn hat
You are so not ready for motherhood
I feel like I got run over by a bus full of inebriated Scotsmen on the way to a soccer riot.
he's singing something in russian and knocking over my plants with his dick, get his drunk ass out of my apartment
HE STUCK IT IN THE FISHBOWL WTF
Let's make an agreement. No drugs until you finish all your homework. I'm hiding them as we speak.
He made me a flamingo drink and now I don't know why things are the way they are.
She turned down sex for beer pong. I'm not sure if I should be disappointed or not.
Already doing pt exercises by picking my margarita up off the night stand. Fuck yeah.
last time we were there you stole a tap from the toilets. How are you confused that your bag is full of baubles you clearly can't stop collecting their furnishings
She looked up and said "I like this." I asked "what do you like?" she said "penis."
Randomize
