If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
I mean don't get me wrong, vaginas are terrifying, they look so sneaky with all their layers and secret compartments and trap doors
i just wanna skin you and wear you like last years versace.
you may have the big hair, fake nails, and talk with a fake accent, but you will NEVER be a housewife from new jersey so STOP TRYING.
This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
i fucked a milf yesterday.
i'm not impressed, in this generation that could technically mean a 16 year old.
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
I had to call maintenance to come unclog the toilet.
Something to remember me by.
We could make it a date. Dinner and a show. The show being my nipples getting pierced.
I'm glad the dog doesn't judge me for doing leftover lines and watching George of the Jungle at 10 am
Just heard the girl at the bar cuss her bf out and order a long island ice tea. Going to give it 5 min then I'm going in. See you on the other side.
I got a lap dance from a guy last night dressed as a school girl. Heels and all. His heels got stuck in my fish nets
Not sure. He doesn't know where New York is on a map but he gives an incredible spanking.
Who cares about New York?
I'm not totally useless... You can use me as an example of what not to do
I just saw a girl on the phone crying and eating a sandwich. Thats talent right there.
Randomize
