I want the hot one, scratch that. anyone.
best thing about halloween? there are pumpkins to puke in EVERYWHERE!
either she said she was feeling frisky or eating friskies..i was too drunk to understand.
Don't EVER smell your tampon
If Amber from Teen Mom can get a new boyfriend, so can I.
He is so amazingly handsome. I just wanna fuck every shred of decency out of him.
Now that makes it sound like you had sex with a guy in batman costume and you never took the mask off so you can't 100 percent be sure.
This morning I found four opened yet full beers on my desk and my towel rack pulled off the wall and in bed with me
HOCKEY BUTTS AND BASEBALL BUTTS HONESTLY DO SOMETHING TO ME
First day in a very long time I've done more pushups than bong rips
He looks like an accountant with a secret kinky candy filled center.
2017 is gonna be explosive... Already watching fireworks out the window while shit my brains out. Happy Ew Year
my mom just came into my room and handed me a news paper article about women on the verge of a drinking problem... i can already tell its not about to be sunday funday
i told you i was taking the Metra Train, and you asked what type of drug that was.. so yes i believe you when you say you were fucked up
Nothing like having a family watch you dry heave at the end of the dock
Randomize
