After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
we were having sex in the shower and he dropped me. try explaining THAT to your concerned little brother
I swallowed your vile semen and you don't know what color my fucking eyes are!?
No, I don't think Michelle is a squirter. And if I've had anal sex, the Obamas have.
Would you like to blur the lines between friendship and lesbianism tonight?
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
plan d- we get drunk, go see that Justin Bieber movie and freak out 13 year old girls.
oh my god. the driver of our party bus just said "no drugs unless you're sharin," my confidence in him is not high at the moment
Excellent idea. Nothing says "congrats for resurrecting yourself, Jesus" like Greygoose at noon!
Fuck you come back. The old guy next to me is complementing me on my great choice of ring fingers,
Drank a beer through my butt, how's your initiation going?
The first thing I did when I got to the apartment was masturbate on the couch
p.s i need to stop drunk texting my mom. she brings up text convos all the time and i have no idea what shes talking about...
Goal: finish my bio assignment before the Xanax kicks in.
I am confused/concerned about the circumstances that led to your consumption of 3 beta fish last night.
Randomize
