omg, I know. It's so embarrassing that we've both had his penis in parts of our bodies
Hey a mouth doesn't really count. A vagina counts more.
Sex on a trampoline was so worth getting a mosquito bite on my penis
And no, shaving doesn't make it look bigger, either
Not only do I have sand in my ass, but a crab pinched me while we were fucking. Still totally worth it.
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
The Swedes wanted a tensome.
HE HAS A FUCKING TWIN. HE HAS A TWIN. I'M NOT DRUNK THERE IS TWO OF THEM.
Roommate is eating a chimichanga, watching Dr Doolittle 2 and weeping. His Tuesday hangovers make me feel better about my life.
am i gonna have visuals on this?
you are gonna see the trees puking up fireworks and ninja pheonixes will shit rainbows and fire
The cops raided her house the day before class even started
Those assholes are becoming so efficient
If you're still up for that roadtrip, I managed to end up in Louisiana and could use a ride home.
premonition: im going to wake up covered in mashed potatoes
You are talking to me during sexting hours. Be careful, innuendos are taken seriously
yeah true but how easily can you rip a scrotum
All I want is to get shitfaced and fuck random strangers is that really to much to ask?
Randomize
