My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
I just Tebowed the shit out of her.
Nice and you can't use "Tebow" in the place of every verb.
Should we start at nine like normal people or now like alcoholics?
I am the slutty bisexual glue that holds this friendship group together.
His penis smells like laundry I just wanted to cuddle it
I can't feel my tongue. And that means go. Green means go. And you know what Barney says. Green means go and woah means no. DRIIIIINKK
Also, we found a geriatric Snoop Lion.
They only searched every other person. But I sacrificed myself to get our vodka across the border
Is it weird that I'm looking up pubic hairstyles?
Settled one third of the tab. Am going back for sex. Love you, make friends
Your cousin just directly asked you for nudes
I AM SMARTER THAN EVERY FUCKBOY WHO HAS EVER SWIPED LEFT ON ME
She stood up through my sunroof the entire drive home. screaming her ass off and singing free falling..
I don't want to just hook up with random dudes. I've had enough bad sex to know that it's not worth hooking up with strangers
It's not?
You just thought it would be a good idea to show your penis to your best friend. No harm, no foul.
Randomize
