I walked out of the bathroom and both of you girls were giving the gay guy head. I was like, "laaaterrr."
well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
She hadn't heard about the oil spill. She gave dumb blondes a whole new standard to aim for. I did her anyway...but that isn't the point.
After she came with my hands around her neck, she sat there for a minute and gave me the scuba diving sign for a-ok.
he has been on a 2 week bender, has been homeless for a week and a half, and leaves for madagascar in 2 days. Do we worry or is that normal?
I just found a babydoll head in my sink where we ripped it off and did shots out of it.
He snuck out of bed at 9 am and came back with pizza and a bottle of wine. I think I'm in love!
she woke me up with a blowjob, mickey mouse pancakes, a mugshot of my ex in county jail, and tequilla. Do you know if she fucked someone behind my back or did i win the vagina lottery?
Guy in the room next to us in the ER is chanting "I'm jeff and I'm drunk". He's trying to get released to finish tailgating for the Iowa game that starts in 9 hours.
I could barely talk to the cabbie and I was text bombing everyone. They need to make an auto timer app to prevent people like me from belligerent late night harrassing. And I was seeing double... Prob would have tried to give your leg a bj and then fallen down the stairs.
You said that about some fat chick sitting on the base of a lamp post and puking. Downright heroic.
Instead of sending me a picture of his dick, he sent me a drawing of it on drawsomething. This game is getting out of control.
Haha ohman remember when I peed in your blender? Gotta love college.
YOU DID WHAT???
You just kept looking down at your tits and screaming "I LOVE YOU TWO!!!"
She puked in the bed, peed in the closet, and woke up on a Rubbermaid in the closet under the stair case
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