i hate having sex with him only a few drinks in. i like it better when i cant remember the gory details.
He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
Ended up passed out drunk in the neighbors lawn, still in costume. Neighbors thought I was a lawn decoration. Ten points for best Halloween ever.
Pretty sure that Albanian broad gave me something last night. Now we play the waiting game.
I went to the gas station and the lady goes I remember you. Broken sunglasses and puke on your car.
there's nothing like the elf drinking game to get me in the christmas spirit.
sorry about having a shotput competition with your microwave, seemed like a good idea at the time
my nipple ring is gone but someone was nice enough to replace it with a paperclip
You keep saying things....but all I'm hearing is kegs
IN OTHER NEWS did you guys see Orlando Bloom's penis today? I did
And by not handle it I mean it makes me want to sit on his face
There's literally not a single picture of him with a shirt on. I can't talk to him without dislocating my eye balls.
So you were shitfaced and stole a fucking kayak?
For 15 minutes straight, he literally did every accent there was, from Russian to Bostonian. The issue: no one could determine whether he was sober, wasted, or anywhere in between
How'd things go with that guy last night?
He threw up in the consol in my car then started crying about his ex girlfriend.
Randomize
