the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
I just spent an unhealthy amount of money overnighting a full adult sized Trix Rabbit Halloween costume
i just did my hair and make up to walk our dogs.. I hate being the single roommate
The girl sitting next to me in class is writing her to-do list under the title 11/31.
I farted on Jack's balls last night. He got pissed and walked away cause he knew it was on purpose. I couldn't hold it in anymore.
Omg 230 lb butch lesbian with a mustache grabbed my dick. I need an adult
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
Totally forgot Mike has only one ball. Is it sad I'm excited to see it? Or shall I say the lack of it?
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
I thought he was having it in Athens. Alright. Have fun. Please save my dignity and refrain from talking about my boobs and sexual "abilities". If I have any. I just feel like they are going to ask. Repeat after me. And repeat it 5 more times. This is going to be the phrase you're going to rely on tonight: "I can neither deny or confirm such actions."
Thought I was doing makeup today for a photo shoot for a short film. WRONG. Try I'm on the set for a Fucking Sci-Fi PORN.
Please tell me I was just dreaming when I asked if I could borrow your jesus dildo
I just want to have sex and eat dumplings. Is that so much to ask?
Someone threw up pink in the shower, there's a golf cart tipped over on the lawn and Cousin Brian is missing. What could Friday night throw at us?
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
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