she got the salsa and pickles out of the fridge looked at me and said what can i make with this
FYI I just found your friend. Asleep. In. My. Kayak. In. Pool.
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
I think my body is a cloud. This mixture of things is heavenly. Dare was wrong, drugs are awesome.
Sorry brah. Drastic times called for drastic measures and I had to go home and bang a cougar.
The only things in my fridge are almond milk, Smirnoff Ice and chicken noodle soup. I'd say I've done mama proud.
ever had the feeling "I've been drunk in this bathroom before?" Like De ja drunk?
drying my bra with a hair dryer wasn't exactly how I had planned on starting my day.
P.s. I loved that your balls smelled like coconut
Last night was a whirlwind of vodka - induced emotion
I told him I was on my period but he says "I'm a doctor, you think I can't handle blood?" And just went for it. Jackpot
He poured champagne on my pussy while he ate me out. I found my unicorn.
I should have known when she mixed malibu and V8. It smelled just like tanning oil and when she drank it she said "Oh well, not the first time."
Well she's 'call Wayne Gretzky a whore' drunk so you tell me.
Randomize
