He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
dude...i just woke up in ****'s bed!
doesn't he have a girlfriend???
yeah...who do you think woke us up...
Yeah. I woke up naked in his bed this morning and remember saying "Get a condom cuz I can't afford an abortion right now" last night. He didn't run. He's a keeper
When you gave me the first bj i thought 'yep, this girl is going to do great things with her life'
i would think by now you'd realize that my penis does whatever the fuck it wants and i have no control over the situation
There are drunk kids outside our building hugging that cop that's always on his bike as he's citing them for public drunkenness. It's not even 11 am.
I have the Everlasting Gobstopper of boners right now. It's kinda like a gift from god, but I don't want to spend anymore time with this girl than I have to.
I had to have the guy I went out with last night come pick me up from the hotel the next morning after I ditched him for a firefighter..don't even talk to me about a walk of shame
That is cause you are some weird type of mutant that lives off of Alcohol.
You threw up in your own shoe then wore it home
we're like the harlem globetrotters of underage drinking
Would I be crazy if I drove 1,000 miles for some dick? What mile does it become ridiculous?
I used the line "you don't have enough pillows". Then left. Thought you should know.
are you drinking tonight?
I have an exam tomorrow
so yes.
He took a shot of vodka and AND ATE ME OUT AS A CHASER. YESSS. I AM IN LOVE.
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