we have officially lost it.
Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
today is like waiting for pizza day in elementary school, but with sex added
im just glad that if you were going to have awkward hospital sex, you would want it with me
How do i tell my boyfriend " I'm taking the two weeks im in Europe to fuck my way across 9 countries" in a way where we will still be together?
Yes ma'am. At least you're a warning story I can tell to my kids in the future
well some coke just fell out of my nose in my partners meeting so i'd say my day's off to a fantastic start
I had tater tots and weed with a stripper at 4am who compared the size of my boob to her head because fuck you my life rocks
She didn't complain to the library attendant about us being too loud. She complained after you grabbed her highlighter off the table to stir vodka into your tumbler with.
There are horrible decisions in life and then there are tequila flavored moonshine decisions
Well I may have gotten laid but I over drafted buying pizza so I think that negates everything
It's like everybody loves Raymond but the total opposite and everyone wants him to die
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
His wife isn’t coming to the wedding! I’ve got 48 hours to home wreck him. Gotta go, I have to shave my vajayjay and buy some really slutty underwear. Love you!
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