I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
the girl sitting next to me in class is using her birth control box as a ruler
First time i ever had an awkward silence during sex.
the last three girls i tried to get with all believed in abstinence... i think gods trying to keep me from being a father
i think girls just don't want to fuck you
I'm drinking margaritas out of a soup mug, of course I'm going to get wasted
How is it possible that i have sex with a guy and he makes YOU breakfast
You owe me $8 for the carwash I needed after you threw the salmon on my windshield.
Its official. I've reentered slutty territory. I was a condom away from having sex in a childs playhouse at a park. Oh and I lost my car keys.
i know i said i'd always be there for you, but i'm beginning to think that what you call "being there for me" the american judicial system calls reckless endangerment.
Can I bring some rope too? It's not too early for bondage talk, is it?
This number has temporarily been disconnected and will be restored to service once you get rid of you girlfriend.
Hey dude this is some next level no homo shit but im gonna get 2 tickets to the opera and go Hail Mary on this one girl. U take the extra ticket if i fail.
I didn't want to but I was drunk in a Disney bathroom with her and had a weak moment.
i’m just listening to christina aguilera’s “your body” on repeat and trying not to pass out at my desk.
I think I used my hospital ID to cut the coke last night. I need to swab it for residue at work today.
Randomize
