he has a girlfriend so we used my stuffed animals to pretend to have sex
she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
I wasnt going to have sex with him until i ran into his gf at chipotle. It was like the gods were saying "Go ahead. Shes already had her burrito for the day"
You face planted into a car door. And somehow didn't drop your burrito.
Apparently I'm the last girl he had sex with. That was over a month ago. If he can go that long without sex then he's clearly not the guy for me
I took Xanax and it did nothing to me. First sign I'm crazy and actually need it.
When you turn your data bak on you're gonna get a pic of a nipple but it's not mine
I am pretty sure we beat baby seals over the head in a past life. That is why we are being punished.
Idk but she keeps giving me s'mores and I'm having a hard time caring about her alcoholism because of it
SOME BITCH AT THE HOSTEL STOLE MY NUT BUTTER THERE WILL BE BLOOD
I need you to be best friend brutally honest about whether or not I can go into public like this.
We are gonna have a bake sale and the preceded will go towards the abortion
roommates are droppin acid, i really should stop them from staring directly at the light bulb, but their giggles are so enchanting.
Best news I’ve heard all day. Cookies and dick. What more could a girl ask for?
I just had 3 numbers I don't know text me and remind me I am to attend AA on monday. Im gonna say it was a good night.
Randomize
