pretty sure mid blowjob I told him I needed to call you and ask you if this was whore-ish. He hid my phone from me.
Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
They kept trying to slap each other but they were poring beer onto their hands first referring to it as their baby powder
I ate goldfish off your shoulder, I think we had bigger issues
perfect irony that i'm celebrating international women's day with a yeast infection
It's like a challenge who can be the biggest embarrassment to the family. I win 80% of the time.
All these girls I talk to are like I've never had a hangover and I'm like you don't drink right here let me show you
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
No lie. I was hooking up with a former football player at UT and mid-hookup I yelled "I'M FRATERNIZING WITH THE ENEMY"
I woke up last night a kitchen floor with my shirt off and I love America written on my leg in eye liner
Ugh. The fucking vaginal recession is so real right now.
You need to stop vomiting in the washing machine, bro. For real this time.
I just watched a porn called gay of thrones and I think I've reached a new low in my life
if you want to know how my night is going I just ugly cried in the cheesecake factory
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