found an unmarked box of photos in the garage, they were from when my parents first got together. It was fun laughing at their ridiculous eighties outfits and hairstyles, until I found a pic of my dad. naked. with a boner.
I would like to thank collapsed soviet republics and fathers who didnt show enough attention for tonight's festivities
new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
idk how it happened. she made a very smooth transition from crying to blowing me
just took my abortion antibiotic with my martini. i no longer wonder how i got into this situation.
It took him longer to remove his skinny jeans than it did for him to finish. I didn't even have time to realize it sucked until it was already over.
I don't think so, think I've only met him once, the night I lost my teeth
I want to break up with him.....but he has a george forman grill...like I need that
You mAke me stone. Stone fuck fucking stoned. I'm an stoned you cuz now fucking stoned stoned fucking stoned I stone.
I came back and almost ran over two people passed out in my driveway I've never met before in my life
Can't even walk I haven't tried talking but I probably can't do that either
Definitely went down on him last night while he was wearing a cape. He randomly kept swirling it around me and "revealing me" in the mirror like a magic trick. I'm not even a little upset, it's fun fucking younger guys.
I just told 2 of my vibrators "I love you." I seriously need some dick.
THERE ARE LEGITLY 4 SEPARATE BITE MARKS ON MY DICK. WHAT. THE. FUCK.
Legitimately*
Go fuck yourself
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
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