just did a line in a complete hula outfit off a chick in a devil costume. do you think hell will be this good?
Apparently when you order 'bottomless fries' at red robin that doesnt mean you can go around to every table and eat all the fries you want off other peoples plates.
I'll let you put expensive food in me, but really, not much else.
It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
I'm on my fifth double. This night is getting better whether it likes it or not.
Oh my god, I hid a wine bottle in my boot.
She just stuck her hand down the strippers pants. Shit just got real.
When I try to close my eyes ibwant to puke. Going to the basement to watch pocohantas. That'll keep myeyes open. And puke free.
Playing a game in life called "how far can I make a man travel for a booty call"
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
............HELP Ive been abducted by vodka and its poisoning my brain fat chicks are getting cute and i slept with my sisters friend who slightly resembles john kerry....,,help
I have a physical this friday. On a scale from 1-10, 10 being the most judgemental gay bashing, how much judgement am I gonna get from my dr when he checks my balls and sees the cherry tattoo
I mean I sucked his dick at 3 AM... UNDERWATER. I think I have earned a follow back on twitter.
Well in other news, my nipples are healing pretty well but next time I get drunk and decide to pierce something please for the love of god stop me!
They made Game of Thrones Oreos. Kill me.
Randomize
