So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
turns out a healthy dose of cleavage is the equivalent of a swig of felix felicis
i am not listening to taylor swift on a pink ipod. totally not happening.
We are the drunkest people in Toys R' Us right now
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
He blow dried my hair while I sucked his dick. Now THAT'S fucking teamwork.
Just got a event reminder on my phone to never party with you again.
Granted I did fall into a pond wearing your dress, but I did save a frog in the process so I think it was worth it.
I told you, we're just gonna get ripped and light sparklers
Ok- my dad's ex-wife's Irish nephew. Weird if we fuck or not?
U know when u get really drunk and u don't think anyone can see what your doing? If I'm that drunk the possibilities are endless
I wish I could be at this cabin banging all these old dads
I got hella high today and freaked out about life and interest rates
I just dropped a condom on the floor at costco in front of my girlfriend and her husband. Today is not going to go well.
Try to fuck my roomie AND steal my slippers: you are no longer my favorite cousin.
Randomize
