im in a kiddie pool, high, with a keg in arms reach. If i had a sandwich and a blowjob this would be the best day ever
How has he not realized you're pregnant?
Spanx.
True life I used my fake as a photo id for my final. My professor told me good luck and laughed. Hope the bouncers are in the St. Patrick's day spirit.
I had sex on an exercise ball. The inevitable has occurred.
i dont care if it was her birthday. if she leaves me with a half rack of budweiser and her boyfriend obviously shits gonna go down.
Considering the last guy I had sex with was gay, this was a huge improvement.
Then I realized I was alone sitting on the bathroom floor brushing my teeth at 2am laughing to myself.
I apologize for getting really drunk, taking off my shirt, bitching someone out, crying, and breaking something at your party next weekend...
Golf group in front of us has 2 hooker caddies. One guy was getting a lap dance as he waited to tee off. Only in vegas.
No we just stood in the kitchen and laughed for 2 hours about how funny the popcorn noise was.
High moment. Almost just passed the blunt to the dog.
If you've never been pounded by an Eastern European body builder, I would highly recommend it.
Who says no to sex and donuts?!
She wouldn't fuck me because I had a cast, so I took her friend home
I'm not saying i'm drunk
But i'm drunk.
Randomize
