ok this guy next to me just sat down with a no joke, 10,000 page book, popped an addy, cracked open a red bull and opened the book to page 1.
i should have probably stopped drinking when my beer pong shots were hitting the other team in the face..
yeah thats usually a good indication.
Before you ask, yes. Whatever you're wearing IS too slutty for his mom's funeral.
he made a bald eagle out of coke lines
He just referred to his foreskin as a snuggie. Help.
I told him i turn boys gay hoping that would scare him off. Finally i found a way to take advantage of my disability.
STONER SAFETY TIP: don't use the driver's side vanity mirror to check how red your eyes are while you're driving. it won't work. trust me.
you look like you're about to get down on your knees and give america the business.
Maybe I can find a straight girl rehab camp, like the opposite of those degaying camps, where they teach me how to love the ladies instead
Omg. I would pay ALL OF THE MONEY for that camp.
Like I want to yell at him for pissing on my floor but there's still a chance its my pee....
My brother and I have had one conversation in the past like 3 weeks and it was about what it would be like as a sentient butt plug
Afterwards I drank a whole bottle of cake vodka in the bathtub while he was bawling his eyes out. Hands down weirdest hookup I've ever had.
I just got dumped by my fuck buddy. Now I have to have sex with my husband.
Going on a coke binge the night before your appointment with your therapist (to talk about your sex addiction) is prob not the best idea.
I have only been here for a week and might contributed to a dumpster fire on accident.
Randomize
