I couldnt give him head when all I could hear was his little brother playing the piano and this family singing along to it.
I don't know but the stairs are covered in apples
Dude, for your own safety, do not bring that chick home. I'm pretty sure you're going to find a marsupial pouch smuggling a fresh batch of herpes under that hoodie. Bail bail bail bail bail.
idk, it started getting weird when they were looking up videos of lesbian giraffes
A giant panda just asked me for a cigarette and said "man pandas gotta smoke too." There is something wrong with this place.
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
Best feedback on my performance so far: "There are things that can't be unseen."
You wrote me a check. For zero dollars. For my soul. Dick.
Like woke up with a dick piercing kind of drunk.
There's a guy masturbating in front of Sephora right now
I’m going to Lewinsky this place
That makes no sense, but it sounds terrifying
i just read a article called "Booze, Drugs, and Bipolar Disorder"... i think someone is writing the memoirs of my life
Well, I was arguably the most sober adult in the house by 1 in the afternoon, so I'd say Superbowl Shitshow was a success.
It’s a prereq for med school, so I hope the professor likes blow jobs
She’s a Vegas 8, which makes her an Oklahoma 27
Randomize
